As the crappy economy drags on like one long horrible cock-block, the sexually adventurous are devising smarter ways to get more out of their pleasure bucks. Many are being choosy about which local sex and kink parties they go to, where to invest their memberships, and paring down on out of town destination events. Others are buying lube by the bulk. I’ve seen poly folks going out on big group gaggle dates—hey, dinner for five, family-style, is cheaper than dinner for two! Others are searching for the perfectly imbalanced washer/dryer at the Laundromat for some cheap thrills. Sex and dating on the cheap is a big enough topic to even hit the New York Times.

 

If you have time on your hands—and sadly, the current job market’s forced free time on so many—interested in saving money and still having fun, why not make your own kinky playpen or sexual Shangri-la at home?

 

Whether you’re a rabid renovation enthusiast with a garage workshop that would shame most contractors, or if you’re DIY-disabled like me who thinks hanging a frame from a nail is an accomplishment worthy of a Twitter post, there are ways suited to your ability to make your own pleasure palace. Many of these ideas come from my friends’ personal play spaces.

 

WHERE?

 

If you happen to have an under-utilized basement, guest room or an attic, you’re all set. But for the rest of us, especially renters and urbanites, we have to get creative within some serious limitations.

 

Case Study - The Walk-in Closet

 

RB’s apartment had an oddly designed walk-in closet off the hallway. Three feet wide at the entrance and eight feet deep, it wasn’t much use as a clothes closet. He decided to make it into a playroom centered on his favorite activities: fucking in a sling and heavy bondage. Unfortunately, the load-bearing studs were not conveniently located and he didn’t feel good about drilling holes in the rental walls. He bartered a deal with a crafty friend, who built a sturdy framework of 4x4 lumber fitted to the room using brackets for easy disassembly later. If you’re renting, you might as well plan with the inevitable move in mind. He made sure to have 4x4’s along where the wall meets the floor, to ensure much-needed ground level tie-down point. The leather sling was hung from properly load-bearing hooks sunk into this 4x4 framework.

 

Floor-to-ceiling wire drawers for closet organizing filled the deeper end of the space, where the nipple clamps, latex gloves, lube and various fancy bondage gears lived. He changed out the doorknob for one with a lock to assure privacy should relatives visit.

 

The setup was brilliant and the sling got a lot of use.

 

Closet Case—Additional ideas:

 

• Replace the single light bulb in the ceiling with affordable track lighting. Make sure each of the light fixtures can be moved easily so no one’s looking up into the interrogation light when it’s not an interrogation scene. When it is, it’ll be easy to blind them into consensual compliance.
• Consider installing a light fixture with a base sporting a built-in power outlet. It’s much easier to hang the Hitachi from the ceiling down to the sling and the sexy bits, than up from an extension cord stretched from another room. 
• He had pegboards along the sides to hang toys, but they became bothersome as the hooks would catch their clothing or poke them during play and moving about. A cheap and easy fix would be to hang over-the-door style shoe pockets or shoe bag for storage.
• To further camouflage the hidden sling room, install a spring-loaded tension rod across the closet at the entrance and hang boring off-season coats and clothing from it.

 

Is building an internal framework for your closet a bit too much? Then sink load-bearing bolts into the inside of the closet doorframe. Folding pad eyes from sailing supply stores are great. When the closet is just a closet they’re out of the way or can be used for hanging various small things. When you want to play, use them as tie-down points. Better still, attach a ‘truck bed webbing net’ or tailgate net to these bolts for an instant bouncy play and sex wall with amazing tie-down and grip points!

 

The phrase “load-bearing” is key. Just because something looks sturdy doesn’t mean it’s going to hold you up in the throes of passion. Bolts and hooks designed for heavy things all have official weight ratings. Ask the store clerk for that info. If you’re not comfortable telling them you’re hanging a love swing or a lover from it, tell them you’re hanging a boxing sand bag or large hammock from it. If you’re installing your own hooks, invest in a “stud finder.” We’re not talking about your skills at the bars—we’re talking about the cool electronic gizmo used to find the beams behind the drywalls to correctly place those bolts and hardware. You have to use a different tool to find the big wood at the bars. Home Depot doesn’t carry that.

 

If you’ve had enough with being in the closet, how about using the hallway or living room as a convertible space? Load-bearing bolts fixed properly into studs in the ceiling can be in any room, camouflaged neatly with hanging plants, speakers, workout equipment or seasonal ornaments. Daybeds, sofas, armchairs and tables can hide cleats and folding eyes screwed in for bound screwing later. If the bed frame isn’t wood, locking cable ties with D-rings hide neatly under bed skirts and many upholstery styles. If you can hide the folding eye pads under carpets, rugs and other flooring, you’re set to party.

 

Don’t forget the portable stripper poles, whether for naked pole dancing parties or bondage points.

 

SOUND

 

With great sex and play comes noise, and lots of it. If you live in a high-density area, soundproofing will be one of your top priorities. Here are some ideas for easy soundproofing.

 

At a minimum, lay down carpet pads and a layer of interlocking rubber flooring tiles. It’s the same stuff used for gym floors. Tough, sound muffling, and easy to clean off most play and sex spills. Additionally, unlike synthetic rugs, it’s not going to go up in huge flames from a minor candle accident.

 

Consider pushing floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and other tall furniture against the wall with foam padding between them and the wall, and fill the gap between doors and the floor using foam weather stripping, or at least a towel as a temporary measure. If you enjoy the look of elegant Oriental rugs on the walls, do so, as they make wonderful sound mufflers. 

 

If you’re able to do more, check out this article from Wired magazine in which a musician couple with who have an infant son writing about how they soundproofed their condo while being green and on a budget.

 

 

 

LIGHT

 

Lighting can make or break the mood and divides the sexy room from the “not-tonight” rooms. If you’re cursed with one light fixture on the middle of the ceiling which makes everyone look old and tired, look into various affordable floor and accent lamps set to bounce the light off the walls. Replace the light bulb with a colored compact florescent bulb and install dimmer switches.

 

Candles and flames, while romantic, are just waiting to become nasty accidents.  Use the fake electric candles instead. They’re quite realistic. Never use a real candle in a playroom without a fire extinguisher near by.

 

Daylight through the window may be a problem for setting mood and ensuring privacy. Even if the window is small, hang thick floor-to-ceiling curtains. It’ll give the illusion of grand windows and add beauty to the room. If the windows are narrow, make the curtains much wider for a dramatic look. Several layers with different thickness, transparency and color will also give you several mood options. This will also help with further sound reduction. Whenever possible, select fire-retardant curtain materials. The layered dramatic curtains are especially advantageous for the multi-purpose room allowing you to swiftly go from wholesome to wicked.

 

STORAGE & FURNITURE

 

I wonder if IKEA knows that they’ve furnished some of the best home play spaces and dungeons around the world? I personally know that they have. Even the most customized and elaborate sex space will have something like an IKEA mirror or a set of drawers for condoms or nipple clamps.

 

For those of us who are not talented in home dungeon furniture and storage building, IKEA, The Container Store and Target are our friends. Make a mental list of your favorite sex and play activities in mind. Then walk through each of these stores with your sex-fiend and pervert lens on. Before you shop, make sure to know the optimal heights for sex surfaces or bring your preferred crotch with you to stand next to the furniture considered. It’s not a good idea to assume the sex position on the floor sample pieces in the store—even in San Francisco, unless you’re at Mr. S Leather.

 

Your other sources are eBay and Craigslist. A friend scored a vintage folding wheelchair on eBay for $10. It hides away, is sturdy as a tank and has tons of bondage and sex potential. Wheelchairs, backboards, gurneys, cots, mental health institutions’ humane restraint systems, hospital hoists, hammock stands, all make wonderful sex and SM furniture. Reduce, reuse, replay, refuck.

 

Want a giant bed for a big shag party? The easiest thing to do is strap two queen sized beds together with webbing. For greater stability, build a simple wooden frame to hold this. Local seamstresses should be able to easily make custom sized fitted sheets. Or get a giant inflatable kiddy pool and hose the mess off later!

 

If you’re building your own BDSM furniture, check out the Better Built Bondage Book. You’ll find solid and useful DIY and craft information. Sadly the cover is in need of a redesign, which I hope they will consider for the next print run.

 

Whether buying or making your own furniture, make certain that the material surfaces are easily and thorough washable with the appropriate cleaners. This is especially important if there may be lot of lube use, or any exposure to even the most common transmittable infections. Can the material hold up to 10% bleach solution, surgical surface cleaners or viracides?

 

DÉCOR & ART

 

It’s one thing to set the mood, but another to become a cliché. A clean, visually pleasing space can welcome a cuddle party, afternoon tea or kinky bondage fantasies equally well. There’s no rule that says a swing space has to be shagged out in pink or a dungeon space needs to be dark, dingy or porny. Let your taste come through. If you know you have the decorating sense of a mole, enlist one of your style fascist friends.

 

Consider collecting erotic art to suit your fantasy. Even cheap prints look great in a nice frame and add serious effect to the sexiness of your space. If you don’t want to have X-rated art on the wall all the time, switch it out regularly with your G-rated art. The key is to use the same size frames, allowing both sets of your collection to appear balanced and beautiful.

 

BARN-RAISING

 

Is the idea of doing this all by your self just too daunting? Enlist the help of your talented and sexy friends and have a building party. It’s like an old-fashioned barn raising. Provide the tools, refreshments, food and libations for the post build party. Then turn the crew loose to initiate the space and bless it with some good sex energy!